I hate to complain but here goes:  it is cold and rainy and I am weary and tired of the cold and rain.  Okay, there is my official complaint.  I am such a wimp.  Sunshine is like a drug for me and I need more of it!  It makes my days and mood brighter.  I miss it.  dearly.

The boys just interrupted me.  They are working on a very important project in the dining room that is secret and that I can not see.  They needed the scissors for this.  I am fairly certain they are trying to cut bubble wrap but since it is top secret I don't know for sure ;).  They are so cute and very busy.  Bee will sometimes get up and say, "I have a lot of work to do today.  I am going to be very busy".  I believe someone wants to be like Dad.  He likes to follow him around and do what he sees him doing.  He stared so intently at John the other day watching his every move as he stood at the bathroom mirror to shave.  He is so wide-eyed and ready to learn all about the world! It is so awesome and such a gift to see!

Lately I have been thinking about these beloved words of Jesus:  "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it" (Matthew 16:25).  I used to think that verse just applied to extreme examples of people losing everything for Christ, like missionaries or those persecuted for spreading the news of Jesus.  And I think it certainly applies to those situations.  But it also has meaning for the "everyday" Christian, someone like myself, who seeks to follow Jesus in the midst of the ordinary moments of life.  I am learning that for a long time that I have been a slave to my feelings.  I love feelings and I have always been a big believer of expressing feelings, not hindering them or denying them in any way.  But too many times I have let my feelings dictate my reactions to situations, people, etc.. and it has not always been a good thing.  I am starting to evaluate my feelings and embrace them, yet ask myself if they are causing me to act in a way that is biblically based.  To deny myself, my feelings about any given situation, and to find the life of Jesus and to respond in a way that He would want me to.  It's very difficult sometimes!  And sometimes His way is exactly opposite of how I feel that I should respond.  But my heart is learning, albeit slowly, to trust in the ways of God not the ways of Gina.  I long to lose myself for Jesus.  To deny myself, my needs, my wishes, my feelings.   And look at him to define how I will react in any situation.  That is how much his words and life have meant to me.  I believe in Him and the healing power of His words and prescription for life -- much more than I believe in myself.  But not only do I believe it with my head, I am feeling it with my heart and wanting to act in ways that honor Him.  Thank you, God! Thank you for knowing what is best and for giving me the strength to walk in your ways.  May I always choose You over anything else!